Invisible
by Omega135
Summary: Rachel Elizabeth Dare has always been invisible. She knows Percy doesn't love her. She knows there's no going back on her decision to become the Oracle. It doesn't stop her from wishing. Ten truths, Rated T for language & mature themes


10 Truths about Rachel Dare

1) The only reason she agreed to become oracle was because of Percy. After all, he had introduced her to this insane world where Greek myths were a reality. And she had to go and fall in love with the idiot, too, because who wouldn't? Those sea-green eyes, his loyalty, his sarcastic humor even in the face of death…S_tupid_, she cursed herself a million times. Of course he would never see someone like her as more than a friend when he had Annabeth. When she knew that there was really no chance, she decided that at least the oracle would give her a purpose.

2) Apollo wasn't cruel enough to outright do anything against her will, but in his "private meetings" with her he made it _very_ clear that he had an interest in her beyond a god-oracle relationship. Whatever _that_ was supposed to be like. He frequently made her feel more and more uncomfortable, and she was afraid that soon, he'd grow impatient. But who could she tell? He was a _god_.

3) After she became the Oracle, her dad cut her off completely. It wasn't in anger-no, she had never been worthy of any emotion at all from him. Nope, it was a stupid "Guess-you-don't-need-me-bye" sort of thing. She hadn't heard from him since and highly doubted that she would ever again. Her mother, of course, she'd never hear from either. She told the world she didn't care. She told herself she didn't care. But that day, the piece of her that still wanted to cry and be comforted in the arms of her parents die. It hurt. Coupled with giving up her small hope at a chance of being with Percy, it nearly killed her. Quietly, of course.

4) She _hates _it every time the Oracle's spirit takes over. It feels like an invasion of her body. She wakes up drowsy and disoriented, but later, in the confines of her small room, she remembers _everything_. The internal struggle that doesn't show to anybody watching. The disgust and fear, the hopelessness of having her body taken against its will. Maybe it isn't sexual, but it sure as hell feels like rape. But she accepted the position and everything that accompanied it. And even if she was to tell somebody, there was nothing anyone could do.

5) That time she hit Kronos in the eye with a hairbrush? Everyone laughed about it at camp, called her a hero in front of Percy. Nobody would dare piss him off. But afterwards, a group of Ares campers surrounded her, laughed at her, told her she was a stupid mortal who hid behind Percy all of the time, that she wasn't so special. Nico rescued her. She didn't know why. But at sixteen, a year younger than her, he was intimidating and powerful. When he told the Ares campers to get lost, they listened. When he told her he'd walk her to the Big House, she listened. When he told her everything would be fine, she believed him. And when he kissed her, she forgot about Percy and Apollo. She forgot about her vow. She walked inside that night, glowing.

6) She watched the look of pain in Nico's eye and forced herself to keep her cruel sneer in place. She told him she was better than him. She watched as he flinched as she asked if he really thought she would stoop to someone like him when she could have anyone. She felt something in her own heart die as she told him he would never measure up to Percy. And she kept her cold mask on as she walked back into Apollo, who was waiting with his arms crossed, and listened stone-faced as he told her that next time she kissed someone, he wouldn't let her off with just a threat to that person's life. She waited until all was quiet. And then she cried.

7) She used to call herself Liza. She had always liked her middle name. It had no reputations, no expectations attached to it. It allowed her a semblance of normalcy. After middle school, when a girl she had thought was her friend betrayed her, told the whole school who she really was just to gain popularity, there was no point. From that day on there was no point to the nickname. Along with the name went her last shred of self-confidence. And her trust in people. At least her dad was reliable. She could always count on him to forget her name.

8) Her art had been an escape for her, her one happy place. She had loved walking to the middle of a forest, painting and hearing the sweet silence. Until the visions had started. Of course she couldn't be allowed to enjoy the one thing she loved after that. Every time she would try to paint, she would wake up on the ground with a canvas full of monsters and bloody images, of warnings in Greek that she couldn't understand and new fears. Instead of being a relief, her paintings became a source of stress.

9) Sometimes, she'll take one of the normal steel knives from the shelf in the big house and press it into her skin. The pain doesn't bother her anymore, but maybe the Oracle will decide to seek a new host if the body she is in is damaged enough. Of course, she hides the wounds from the campers. They already see her as the mortal freak who gets special privileges. And Percy may not love her, and Nico may hate her after what she said, but they'd both freak if they found out what she was doing.

Besides.

Why not?

10. Sometimes, she doesn't remember what it was like to be Rachel Elizabeth Dare, the mortal before Percy tried slicing her in half with Riptide. She doesn't remember Liza. She doesn't even remember the Rachel who threw a hairbrush at the freaking Lord of Time.

She doesn't remember why she cares. She doesn't remember which part of her is the Oracle and which is _her_, if there's even a difference anymore. She feels herself slipping away.

And it doesn't matter. Because she is alone. And when she isn't here, nobody will notice.

She is invisible.


End file.
